urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:heartoffenris Complete Randomness That Makes Aboslutely No Sense Whatsoever! 'I'll never tell...." 2006-02-21T04:03:48Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:heartoffenris:1324 2006-02-21T04:03:48Z 2006-02-21T04:03:48Z Spider-Man soundtrack SPIDEY REWRITE NO. 2!!!<br /><br />DO:Then die! *smites*<br />SM:*is crusty from being smited* MJ!You will still love me and my crustyness right?!<br />MJ:Uhhhh...<br />DO:SCORE!*smites*<br />SM:*dodges to avoid further crustyization*At least I'll love you and won't use you as a sex vending machine!<br />DO:I do have a lot of quarters...<br />MJ:Really?!*looks excited*<br />SM:*begins singing and dancing*I'm just a panda bear,just a sexy little panda bear,in my sexy little underwear,and I'll dance for you if you give me a quarter.<br />DO&MJ:*stare*<br />SM:What?I got it off the internet.<br />DO:You have lowered my super evil IQ by 2%!Must...go...see...fusion machine!*eye twitching*<br />MJ:What about me?<br />DO:*looks from fusion machine to MJ*Uh...you can come with me to the fusion machine!<br />MJ:But...I don't want to be 2nd place to a machine!<br />SM:*grin*Hehe...<br />DO:*looks from fusion machine to MJ helplessly*But...I...oh fuck it.COMMON!*picks up MJ and carries her over to the machine*<br />SM:Shit.Hey!Come back with my chick!*runs over to DO*<br />DO:*caresses...the machine*My lov-*notices MJ looking at him*precious.<br />SM:Common MJ!Do you really want to do Crazy Science Dude?<br />MJ:But he had a lot of quarters!<br />SM:What?!Oh yea...welll...I have a lot of...nevermind.<br />DO:*peels face off of fusion machine*What?You have a lot of pennies?NO wait!DIMES!?<br />SM:*mutters*<br />DO:Oh.My.God.No wonder you wanted to stick with being Spider-Man!You have a lot,or should I say a little,to compinsate for!<br />MJ:Is it true?Do you have dimes?<br />SM:*quite and embarrassed*Yes.<br />MJ:I have made my choice!*tackles Do and has her merry way with him*<br /><br />to be continued... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:heartoffenris:1190 2006-01-30T04:11:23Z 2006-01-30T04:14:15Z Love To Love Ya Baby Before we begin,DO=Doc Ock,SM=Spider-Man,MJ=...MJ...<br /><br />DO:*glances at MJ: I shall make you fall in love with me!<br /><br />Peter:Hands off the merchandise!<br /><br />DO:Oh...Shut up.*causing buliding to collapse on Peter*<br /><br />Peter:Ouch.*under pile of rubble*<br /><br />DO:*leaves*<br /><br />Peter:*bursts from rubble-has Spidey powers back**heroic music* I'm coming MJ!*swings away*<br /><br />SCENE TWO<br /><br />*At bad guy's hide out*<br /><br />DO:*laughing evily*Spidey is gone.I got the girl-who I'll sell on E-bay after I have my merry way with her-and I have my precious fusion machine.*strokes machine*My precious...<br /><br />SM:*burst threw window*HA!<br /><br />DO:Oh,be gone with you!*has giant fly swatter*<br /><br />MJ:Bang!Zoom!Right in the Kisser!<br /><br />DO&SM:SHUT UP!<br /><br />MJ:So much for women's rights...SEXISTS!<br /><br />SM:I am not...I take Umbridge at that...<br /><br />DO:I used to take Umbridge,but it gave me morning sickness.<br /><br />MJ:Anywho...continue fighting over me...<br /><br />DO&SM:*commences*<br /><br />MJ:I just love all the attention...*sits back,twiddles thumbs and pretends to hate making the choice between them*<br /><br />DO:*falls into water*<br /><br />SM:*jumps in water beside him*<br /><br />DO:*whisper*I have an idea...<br /><br />SM:Eh?<br /><br />DO:We'll share her!<br /><br />SM:Right...<br /><br />DO:Seriously!You that the day shift and I'll take the night shift...<br /><br />SM:But the night shift is the funner of the two!No deal!<br /><br />DO:THEN DIE!<br /><br />(to be continued* urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:heartoffenris:860 2006-01-14T21:49:00Z 2006-01-14T21:49:00Z This random person story doesn't deserve music... Not-so Random Person: Hmmm...today...I think I will ruin someones life, mock someone, and lie 250 times! Yes, 250 times, a new personal record...Can I do it? YES I CAN! But First...I need to go and put my contacts in since I found on the internet where people were making fun of me and my scuzzy-ass contacts...*goes to put contacts in*<br /><br />Contact: *falls down drain*<br /><br />NSRP: NOOOOOOO! Well..I will just have to go and retrieve it...*begins trying to get contact*<br /><br />Sink: *pipes on sink bust*<br /><br />NSRP: *gets sprayed in face by water, steps in toliet and foot bcomes stuck*<br /><br />Toliet: *flushes*<br /><br />NSRP: *cusses because foot is wet and hair is frizzy*<br /><br />NSRP: *with foot in toliet, and hand in drain- accidently grabs electrical outlet*<br /><br />Electical Outlet: *1st line of defense- zaps RP. ll lights in house go dark*<br /><br />NSRP: *becomes human light show*<br /><br />Contact: *floating around in septic tank*<br /><br />NSRP: *falls down with hair standig straight up, hand still in drain, foot still in toliet* DAD! Can I stay home?<br /><br />Not-So Random person's Dad: No! You go to school!<br /><br />NSRP: *slams head against sink* Today is going to be a long day...*house falls down on top of him*<br /><br />NSRP Dad: Now you're really going to school! You Break House!<br /><br />NSRP: Meep...*nearest tree falls on head*<br /><br />NSRP Dad: Now you Break tree! IDIOT! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:heartoffenris:696 2006-01-14T21:29:40Z 2006-01-14T21:29:40Z Random Person Theme Song... Random Person: *goes to hospital and gets all bandaged up*<br /><br />::back at random persons home::<br /><br />Random Person: Time for that bacon! *is on crutches, hobbles over to cabinet for frying pan*<br /><br />Frying pan: *is evil*<br /><br />Random person: *doesn't realize that frying pan is evil* La la la...<br /><br />Frying pan: *jumps from random persons hand and onto foot*<br /><br />Random Person: La la la- FUCK!<br /><br />Frying Pan: No more walking for you!<br /><br />Rest of Pots and Pans: OHHH! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!<br /><br />Random Person: Well, I'll show you! *puts frying pan on stove and turns it up on high*<br /><br />Frying Pan: *suffers third degree burns*<br /><br />Random Person: Haha! I shall smite thee!<br /><br />Rug: *decides to move*<br /><br />Random person: *falls and tries to catch something. Does and it is the hot frying pan* Mother effing fu-<br /><br />Bacon: Think of the children!<br /><br />Random person; SCREW THE CHILDREN!<br /><br />Bacon: Are you Michael Jackson?<br /><br />Random Person: Put bacon into frying pan<br /><br />Cultery: *decides to fly at random person*<br /><br />Random Person: *gets stabbed*<br /><br />Stalker outside of window: Hey! This is the house of the flying daggers!<br /><br />To be continued...<br /><br />::Radio announcer voice::<br />Tune in next week for more of "Stunts of an Idiot"! Will our protagonist: Random Person ever have a good day? Will he ever be able to not get hurt, and most importantly...will he ever get his bacon?! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:heartoffenris:409 2006-01-13T03:39:42Z 2006-01-13T04:00:23Z Random person: *wakes up* Hey! I think I will fry me some bacon! *discovers that self isn't wearing a shirt* Oh no! Popping bacon grease on chest!? BAD! *looks for shirt*<br /><br />Shirt: *isn't found*<br /><br />Random person: *gets out of bed and stands* Ah...*takes a step and trips and falls*<br /><br />Leg: *becomes bruised*<br /><br />Random person: OW! *gets up slowly* Now then...where was I? *Turns around to fast and steps on own foot*<br /><br />Foot: *CRACK*<br /><br />Random person: Well, since I am already on the floor...*looks under bed*<br /><br />Bed: *falls on top of him*<br /><br />Random Person: Goddamn it! Fecking bed! *pulls self from under bed. Gets up and walks ovr to wardrobe*<br /><br />Wardrobe: *opens*<br /><br />Clothes/shirt: *not in there*<br /><br />Random person: *slams foor shut*<br /><br />Wardrobes door: *falls off and lands on other foot*<br /><br />Random person: *curses loud and creatively*<br /><br />Door bell: *rings*<br /><br />Random person: COMING! *goes to stairs and falls down them*<br /><br />Nose: *breaks*<br /><br />Eye: *blacks*<br /><br />Leg: *fractures*<br /><br />Random person: *crawld to the door bleeding and opens it*<br /><br />Random friend: OMFG! What in the hell happened to you?!?<br /><br />Random person: Let's jsut say that my idea of a stunt is getting out of bed in the morning and finding a shirt...<br /><br />Random friend: Well, that's what I came about...I found your shirt in my laundry...<br />~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~<br /><br />This is dedicated to the awesome humor of Alfred Molina,my favorite actor.He was talking about the different stunts he had to do in Spider-Man2<br /><br />"I am not a stunt man.My idea of a stunt is getting out of bed in the morning and finding a shirt."-Alfred Molina,speacial features of Spider-Man 2