FROM · THE · DESKS · OF · WEIRDOS!

Before we begin,DO=Doc Ock,SM=Spider-Man,MJ=...MJ...

DO:*glances at MJ: I shall make you fall in love with me!

Peter:Hands off the merchandise!

DO:Oh...Shut up.*causing buliding to collapse on Peter*

Peter:Ouch.*under pile of rubble*

DO:*leaves*

Peter:*bursts from rubble-has Spidey powers back**heroic music* I'm coming MJ!*swings away*

SCENE TWO

*At bad guy's hide out*

DO:*laughing evily*Spidey is gone.I got the girl-who I'll sell on E-bay after I have my merry way with her-and I have my precious fusion machine.*strokes machine*My precious...

SM:*burst threw window*HA!

DO:Oh,be gone with you!*has giant fly swatter*

MJ:Bang!Zoom!Right in the Kisser!

DO&SM:SHUT UP!

MJ:So much for women's rights...SEXISTS!

SM:I am not...I take Umbridge at that...

DO:I used to take Umbridge,but it gave me morning sickness.

MJ:Anywho...continue fighting over me...

DO&SM:*commences*

MJ:I just love all the attention...*sits back,twiddles thumbs and pretends to hate making the choice between them*

DO:*falls into water*

SM:*jumps in water beside him*

DO:*whisper*I have an idea...

SM:Eh?

DO:We'll share her!

SM:Right...

DO:Seriously!You that the day shift and I'll take the night shift...

SM:But the night shift is the funner of the two!No deal!

DO:THEN DIE!

(to be continued*

Not-so Random Person: Hmmm...today...I think I will ruin someones life, mock someone, and lie 250 times! Yes, 250 times, a new personal record...Can I do it? YES I CAN! But First...I need to go and put my contacts in since I found on the internet where people were making fun of me and my scuzzy-ass contacts...*goes to put contacts in*

Contact: *falls down drain*

NSRP: NOOOOOOO! Well..I will just have to go and retrieve it...*begins trying to get contact*

Sink: *pipes on sink bust*

NSRP: *gets sprayed in face by water, steps in toliet and foot bcomes stuck*

Toliet: *flushes*

NSRP: *cusses because foot is wet and hair is frizzy*

NSRP: *with foot in toliet, and hand in drain- accidently grabs electrical outlet*

Electical Outlet: *1st line of defense- zaps RP. ll lights in house go dark*

NSRP: *becomes human light show*

Contact: *floating around in septic tank*

NSRP: *falls down with hair standig straight up, hand still in drain, foot still in toliet* DAD! Can I stay home?

Not-So Random person's Dad: No! You go to school!

NSRP: *slams head against sink* Today is going to be a long day...*house falls down on top of him*

NSRP Dad: Now you're really going to school! You Break House!

NSRP: Meep...*nearest tree falls on head*

NSRP Dad: Now you Break tree! IDIOT!

Random Person: *goes to hospital and gets all bandaged up*

::back at random persons home::

Random Person: Time for that bacon! *is on crutches, hobbles over to cabinet for frying pan*

Frying pan: *is evil*

Random person: *doesn't realize that frying pan is evil* La la la...

Frying pan: *jumps from random persons hand and onto foot*

Random Person: La la la- FUCK!

Frying Pan: No more walking for you!

Rest of Pots and Pans: OHHH! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Random Person: Well, I'll show you! *puts frying pan on stove and turns it up on high*

Frying Pan: *suffers third degree burns*

Random Person: Haha! I shall smite thee!

Rug: *decides to move*

Random person: *falls and tries to catch something. Does and it is the hot frying pan* Mother effing fu-

Bacon: Think of the children!

Random person; SCREW THE CHILDREN!

Bacon: Are you Michael Jackson?

Random Person: Put bacon into frying pan

Cultery: *decides to fly at random person*

Random Person: *gets stabbed*

Stalker outside of window: Hey! This is the house of the flying daggers!

To be continued...

::Radio announcer voice::
Tune in next week for more of "Stunts of an Idiot"! Will our protagonist: Random Person ever have a good day? Will he ever be able to not get hurt, and most importantly...will he ever get his bacon?!

Random person: *wakes up* Hey! I think I will fry me some bacon! *discovers that self isn't wearing a shirt* Oh no! Popping bacon grease on chest!? BAD! *looks for shirt*

Shirt: *isn't found*

Random person: *gets out of bed and stands* Ah...*takes a step and trips and falls*

Leg: *becomes bruised*

Random person: OW! *gets up slowly* Now then...where was I? *Turns around to fast and steps on own foot*

Foot: *CRACK*

Random person: Well, since I am already on the floor...*looks under bed*

Bed: *falls on top of him*

Random Person: Goddamn it! Fecking bed! *pulls self from under bed. Gets up and walks ovr to wardrobe*

Wardrobe: *opens*

Clothes/shirt: *not in there*

Random person: *slams foor shut*

Wardrobes door: *falls off and lands on other foot*

Random person: *curses loud and creatively*

Door bell: *rings*

Random person: COMING! *goes to stairs and falls down them*

Nose: *breaks*

Eye: *blacks*

Leg: *fractures*

Random person: *crawld to the door bleeding and opens it*

Random friend: OMFG! What in the hell happened to you?!?

Random person: Let's jsut say that my idea of a stunt is getting out of bed in the morning and finding a shirt...

Random friend: Well, that's what I came about...I found your shirt in my laundry...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This is dedicated to the awesome humor of Alfred Molina,my favorite actor.He was talking about the different stunts he had to do in Spider-Man2

"I am not a stunt man.My idea of a stunt is getting out of bed in the morning and finding a shirt."-Alfred Molina,speacial features of Spider-Man 2